
A gentle guide to beginning therapy with me.
First sessions can feel daunting, even frightening. And why wouldn’t they? I am a stranger to you, and you are probably already going through a great deal, which is why you are here.
You may be carrying things you have not yet been able to make sense of yourself: tender, private, even sacred parts of your life. The thought of sharing them with someone new can feel scary, overwhelming or exposing. That makes complete sense.
I cannot promise that any words will take those feelings away. What I can tell you is that they are normal, and that for most people they ease with time, as you begin to experience safety. That is what matters most to me: creating an environment and a relationship built on safety, trust and respect. My hope is that you will come to feel and experience this over the course of our work together.
You do not have to go into the deepest, darkest parts of your experience in the first session. We go at your pace.
At its core, the first session is about welcoming you and beginning to understand you and what has brought you here. There is no fixed script. The session is shaped around what is going on for you on that day. I will ask some questions, but I have no expectations about how you answer them. My aim is simply to meet you where you are.
By the time of your first session, we will usually have had a free telephone consultation. This gives us a chance to talk briefly about what you are looking for and to agree whether single or double sessions would suit you best.
After the consultation, I will send you a few short questionnaires to complete, along with my terms. These help me begin to understand your experience before we meet, and set out important information about privacy, confidentiality and cancellations. If anything in them is unclear, please ask.
You do not need to prepare anything else. Some people like to jot down a few notes about what they want to say, which is welcome but never expected. You might also like to bring a drink of water or anything that helps you feel comfortable.
Sessions are either single (50 minutes) or double (100 minutes), depending on your capacity, needs and preferences. We will usually have agreed this during the telephone consultation, and it can be reviewed as we go.
At the start, I will go over the most important parts of my terms, including privacy and confidentiality. What you share with me is kept confidential. There are a small number of exceptions, which I will explain: for example, if I believe you or someone else is at risk of serious harm, if there is a safeguarding concern about a child or vulnerable adult, or if I am required to share information by law. Wherever possible, I would talk with you first.
I will ask about what has brought you to therapy now and what has been happening for you. Depending on what feels right, we may also touch on:
I also ask everyone some questions about safety and wellbeing, such as whether you have ever had thoughts of harming yourself. These questions are a routine part of caring for you well. They are not a sign that I am worried about you specifically.
Throughout the session, and throughout our work together, you can:
The first session is also your chance to get a sense of me and how I work. You might want to ask:
As we come to the end of the session, I will check in with how you are feeling. We will talk about what you would like from our work, how often we might meet, and any next steps. There is no pressure to decide everything there and then.
The relationship between you and your therapist is one of the most important parts of therapy. It is okay to take time to see how it feels. It is also okay if, after the first session, you decide this is not the right time or the right fit for you. You are not committing to anything by attending, and I would always rather you felt free to say so.
People feel all sorts of things after a first session: relief, tiredness, lightness, tearfulness, or a sense of feeling exposed. Some people feel very little at all. All of these are normal.
If you can, give yourself a little gentle time afterwards rather than going straight into a busy meeting or a demanding task. A walk, a drink, some quiet or something comforting can help you settle. Notice what comes up over the following days, and feel free to bring it to our next session.
I am not able to offer a crisis service. If you need urgent support between sessions, please contact your GP, or call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option. You can call Samaritans on 116 123 at any time.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.
Reaching out takes courage, and just being here, reading this, is already a step. You do not have to have the right words or know exactly what you need. We will work it out together, gently and at your pace.
Dr Tammy Oluyori
Related reading: What to Expect From Trauma Therapy · How we can work together
This resource is for general psychoeducation and does not replace individual assessment or care.
Sometimes reading helps us recognise something important. If you'd like to understand what you're experiencing with support, there are different ways we can begin.